


Remember Me

by StinaTypesss



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-22 08:00:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10692909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StinaTypesss/pseuds/StinaTypesss
Summary: "How can you stand there and say you love me, you don't even know me, I don't even know me!" you shouted the tears falling silently down your cheeks."Trust me y/n I know you, and i do love you, believe me when i say there's no forgetting you." he spoke gruffy the crack in his voice not going unnoticed by you."I don't know who you are.." you admitted."You will sweetheart, you have to, just please, please come back to me, i need you.." You watched as Dean's dam finally broke the tears he tried so hard to hold back finally falling through.





	1. No Memory

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!  
> So this will be a new work of mine, its going to be a dean x reader and its going to be a very long, very bumpy, very emotion filled ride! Well here's the first chapter of quite a few, i hope you all enjoy it! Feedback is welcome!  
> Happy Friday!!
> 
> -Stinatypesss

You weren't sleeping again, not since that night. The constant memory of that night chasing away any amount of sleep, the nightmares always keeping you awake. You pulled up to the empty parking lot, shutting off the engine you looked to the scenery around you. Deerfield park, probably the only destination that you saw fit to run away too on nights like this. You took a breath shutting your eyes tightly as you leaned your head on the steering wheel willing yourself to pull the keys out of the ignition. With the thoughts beginning to creep up on you, you yanked the keys from the ignition sliding out of the car shutting the car door behind you. You set off for your destination, locking your car being the least of your worries, would it even really matter if you made it home? You made your way across the grass, smiling as the swing sets came into view. Ever since that night nothing felt right to you anymore, nothing seemed to make sense, nothing fit. Deerfield park was the one place you could go to to escape your reality, to if anything forget, what an irony huh?

You took a seat in the middle swing, your back to the world around you. Pushing your feet into the wood chips below you, you let yourself sway slightly with the movement. The wind picked up around you, your hair dancing with it. Tucking your hair behind your ear you looked around you the light posts the only source illuminating the sight before you. Your head hung low as you tried to think, think of how to put together the broken pieces in your mind. How did you get like this, why couldn't you put the pieces back, why couldn't you be whole? A pain shot to the front of your head, your eyes closing tightly, a pained groan leaving your lips.

_"We honestly shouldn't even be out here, we could get into trouble!" you hissed._

_He turned to you sending you a wink, "Please y/n when your with me you are bound to get in trouble."  he teased, he stopped his actions when he noticed your face fall, your eyes darting around the area when you heard a noise, he sighed coming back over to you, "_ _Hey look at me, i promise nothings going to happen to you as long as your with me alright?"_

_You studied him for a minute before nodding your head slowly, a grin spreading across his face, "Great come on let's go."_

_You watched as he swiftly lifted himself up and over the bars not giving you enough time for a protest before he was telling you to "hurry up". Your coordination was never the best and it proved itself as you tried getting yourself over the fence just as swiftly as he did but losing your footing halfway over and falling straight onto your ass._

_He let out a laugh at you, his shirt flying in your direction as he rid himself of his belongings. You watched him momentarily the way his muscles flexed as he removed the articles of clothing, you looked away a slight blush tinting your cheeks as he caught you staring. He sent you a wink before he was making a run head first into the pool before you, sprinkles of water hitting your skin from the dive._

_He resurfaced letting out a laugh as he shook out his hair, "Come on in, the waters great!"_

_You bit your lip standing from the floor, did you really want to do this, you could really get into trouble if someone came and found you two, the place wasn't exactly open right now._

_"You need to stop thinking about it, just come in and have some fun with me for a bit." when you didn't budge he let out a sigh before dipping back underneath the water._

_you cocked your hip thinking about the decisions at hand. Could it really be that bad, allowing yourself to have fun and just forget? Oh what the fuck! You stripped yourself of your clothing leaving them placed neatly by the pool before taking a running start into the cold water._

_"Holy fuck its cold!" You breathed as you resurfaced the cold of the pool leaving you breathless. You looked around for him, no sign of him having resurfaced. Your foot was suddenly pulled out from underneath you making you lose your balance and re-submerge under the icy water. You resurfaced quickly sputtering out the water that flew up your nose. He stood before you laughing heartily his head thrown back, hand on his chest, you took this time to swat water into his open mouth._

_He coughed out the water sending me a glare, "that's what you get you jerk." You laughed. A smirk graced his features, you took a step back expecting the onslaught of water in your direction, instead he lunged at you his hands reaching for your hips to hold you in place._

_"What..what are you doing?" you questioned slightly in fear of what he may do, his closeness leaving you nervous._

_He leaned in a little closer, your back hitting up against the wall of the pool, "Having some fun." he whispered. His lips ghosted over yours, his eyes trained on yours._

_"I-i think we should go now you whispered nervously, we could get into trouble." There was that god forsaken smirk again._

_"And i told you as long as your with me, nothing bad is going to happen to you.. ever." You sent him a small smile letting myself relax into his arms._

_"Besides, he spoke grabbing your attention again, if it weren't for you joining me tonight i wouldn't be able to do this."_

_Just as you were about to ask what it was, his lips met yours softly._

_He was your first kiss._

_With him you knew you felt the fireworks, the butterflies, and all because it was him.._

The pain subsided slightly as you took in a breath a strangled sob leaving you lips, you closed your eyes tightly again willing another memory to come forward. You pulled at your hair slightly frustrated with yourself why couldn't you remember, why wasn't anything making sense! Was this another nightmare, a nightmare you couldn't wake up from?!

You let out another sob, this was what was left of you, or at least what you thought was you. These memories that would present themselves at any god given time were just reflections of who you USED to be. You didn't know the girl in the memories, you didn't even know the girl that was sitting on these swings. You didn't know you, and god you wished you did.

"y/n"

You stilled at the sound of a voice calling out your name, you kept your back to them. You heard the sound of wood-chips being crushed under the footsteps that approached you. Your head was casted down, your eyes on your feet. You saw the person come to stand before you.

"Who-who are you?" you whispered. You heard an intake of breathe before the figure squatted down to eye level, you glanced up slighty.

A man probably a year or two older than you kneeled before you, his eyes catching yours.

"My name's Dean.." he spoke

His words floated passed you his green eyes taking you by surprise, you knew those eyes, you swear you knew.

"I'm sorry but do i know who you are?" you questioned

Dean looked down, quickly composing himself as he looked your way again, "Yeah you did.."

Tears filled your eyes once again, here was this man claiming to have known you, and you just couldnt bring yourself to remember no matter how bad you wanted to. You werent sure you knew the man before you, he could be a serial killer for all you knew, but those eyes, those eyes made you feel safe.

"Dean.. you whispered, im scared"

Dean held up his hands as he inched closer to you

"I'm scared because i cant remember who i am, I dont know who i am.." you sobbed.

You felt his arms go around you tightly pulling you up from the swing and into a tight embrace.

"I've got you y/n as long as your with me i promise nothing bad will ever happen to you." He whispered his arms pulling you in tighter.


	2. Memories

_"Sweetheart, don't you dare, you really don't want to do that." Dean warned his hands held out in front of him._

 

_"I don't know Winchester, I don't think its quite fair that I'm the only one covered in flour here." you spoke the flour in your hand slightly falling through the cracks in your fingers._

 

_Dean didn't let his hands falter from in front of him, his glare never failing either. What was supposed to be a day spent in trying to master an apple pie recipe handed to you from your mother, ultimately ended in white powder covering the entire floor as well as majority of your hair. Dean eyed you warily his hands drifting down to the flour that was still very much gripped in your hand. You had taken this time as he was glancing at your hand to quickly lift and fling the white substance at Dean successfully hitting the target at hand. He blew out a breath the flour flying from his lips, you let out a laugh pointing your finger at his form. His fists clenched at his side, your laughter dying down as a smirk came to his lips, his eyes darkening slightly._

_"God sweetheart you just don't listen to warning do you?" he questioned inching slightly closer to you. You noticed his movements, inching back in the slightest, "_

_Hey, it was only fair and besides as long as i'm with you, you'll never let anything bad happen to me.."_

_Dean's smirk grew, a chuckle leaving his lips, "well you thought wrong." he whispered._

_Your eyes widened as he lunged at you, dodging him you ran past him forgetting about the floor on the floor as you slipped and landed hard on your backside. He took this to his advantage as he knelt down his fingers dancing along your ribs, laughter leaving your lips._

_"DEAN you giggled PLEASE STOP OH GOD STOP!" Dean couldn't contain his own smile, your laughter being music to his ears. Your hands grabbed at his trying to stop the onslaught of tickles._

_"Dee please." you all but begged tears falling from your eyes._

_He stopped at that time grabbing both your hands in his, holding them to the side. He leaned closer, his lips hovering over yours, "Should i stop now?" he whispered his words ghosting over your lips. You let out a shaky breath, a tiny smile gracing your lips, your head shaking no slightly, as your eyes traveled down to his._

_"That's what i thought." he spoke his lips finally meeting yours. God you loved kissing this man, you don't think you'd possibly ever get tired of his kiss. Since that night you had trespassed into the Lawrence Aquatic Center, things between you had changed, sure it had taken Dean about a week or so to finally ask you to be his girlfriend you wouldn't have wanted anything less. When Dean finally found the strength to pull his lips from your's you both surveyed the mess the kitchen had been left in , your mom would surely chew you and Dean a knew one if she came home before this was all cleaned up._

_As if he could read your thoughts Dean pulled you up with him, "Think we should clean this up before your mom gets home and tears both of us a new one." he smirked. Yup exactly what you were thinking._

_You both wasted no time in getting all the mess around you cleaned up, you swept the floor, dusted off the counter, heck you even put the abandoned pie into the oven to cook. Your back was slightly to Dean as you finished putting some of the ingredients away, when you turned to face him you saw him eyeing you, a tender look in his eyes. He walked over to you then, pushing the hairs that had creeped out  of your bun behind your ears._

_"You're really beautiful you know that sweetheart?" he questioned. You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks, your eyes darting down to your feet. It was quite for a moment, your eyes slowly drifted back up to meet Dean's._

_"Y/n.."_

_"Yes Dean.."_

_"I think I'm falling in love with you..."_

_Your words caught on your tongue, looking at the man before you. He loved you, he just said he was in love with you. Without giving Dean a chance to take back those words, you wrapped your arms around his neck leaning on the tips of your toes to press your lips to his._

_"I love you too winchester."_

You sat up with a gasp, your eyes widening as you took in your surrounding area. You were still at the park, it seems you had fallen asleep on the bench, but how did you get there? As you adjusted yourself on the bench more you noticed a jacket had been draped over your shoulders. This must be Dean's you thought, you looked around for the blonde hair, green eye'd main but noticed no one else around you except for the couple of people barely arriving at the park. What time was it, surely your mom would have sent the police looking for you, knowing her.

"Hey sleeping beauty." You turned around at the sound of his voice.

You smiled slightly up at him as he rounded the bench, passing you a warm cup.

"Sorry i didn't wake you, but you looked rather peaceful couldn't exactly bring myself to do that, i brought you some coffee that i know you might like."

You thanked him softly bringing the hot drink up to your lips. You let out a hum at the taste of the coffee, it in fact was the flavor you liked.

"How did you know?" you questioned turning to look at him.

You watched as he smiled slightly before his gaze met your's, "Like i said i know you." You nodded your head at his statement before looking at your feet.

"So what exactly were you doing out here so late, its not like you." You didn't think to question his statement, instead opting to answer what you had heard first.

"It's my mother, she's been a little overbearing this whole time, it's like she's afraid shes going to lose me forever if she can't jog my memory. Everyday with her its the same thing, "Oh let's see one of your child videos, oh lets look at pictures, oh i know lets watch one of your favorite shows" and as soon as she's put me through this for the 100th time and still no response or no memory its "Oh honey we can try again tomorrow" I just cant take it anymore."

Dean let out a sigh, rubbing at his eyes, "See this is why i begged the doctor to tell your mom to let me bring you home with me, i know how your mom is and i knew she would do just this."

Your eyes snapped to his, "I-i lived with you, we had our own place?" You questioned.

"Yeah we did, i mean we still do, but when i tried to bring you home, you didn't exactly remember me, and well you weren't too thrilled to see me either."

You opened your mouth to question why, but Dean beat you to it, "After you woke up at the hospital they let me in to see you and well you didn't remember me at all, you started crying for your mom, telling me to away, i mean there was nothing i could do, the doctors thought it would be best for me to bring you home to try and get back into your routine, but after your breakdown your mom and me argued, and ultimately she got the final say, there was nothing else i could do."

You wanted to ask every possible question there was to ask but nothing was coming out. You were angry, you were hurt, how could your mom keep this all from you?

"But Dean i-"

Dean held up his hand stopping you, "I think that's enough for today sweetheart, we should get you home before your mom tears you a knew one, wont be surprised if she's already sent the police my way, surely wouldn't be the first time." he scoffed.

You probably looked like a fish out of water with your mouth opening then closing trying to find the words to speak. Dean smiled at your form before offering you his hand. You held onto his hand as you walked through the park, to where both your cars were stationed. You stood between your cars when the words finally came to your lips.

"Uhm thank you for this Dean, I'm sorry I can't quite remember who you are, but thank you for this, this is the first time someone hasn't tried pushing down a memory or an event to recall who i used to be down my throat."

Dean smiled, "Anytime sweetheart, well i'll let you get going." You watched him turn to his car, something in you screaming to tell him to stop.

"Hey Dean.."

He turned to you, "Something the matter?"

You felt the heat run to your cheeks, "Could i - Could i have your number?"

You saw him smirk, "It should already be in there sweetheart"

You raised a brow at him, "No I don't think it is, i would have recalled having a name Dean Winchester in my contacts." you spoked pulling out your phone to scroll through your contacts and show him.

He let out a chuckle before coming to stand before you, "Try looking under assbutt." he advised.

Just as you were about to argue that, you indeed found a contact under "assbutt <3"

"Why is your name assbutt?" I questioned.

Dean let out a hearty laugh, "That's a story for another time, if your up for it sweetheart, but for now you should really be on your way."

You let a genuine smile grace your features, "I'd really enjoy that, thank you again for this Dean."

Dean whispered a "your welcome" leaning in slightly to place a lingering kiss to your forehead. Your eyes shut momentarily at the feel, a warmth spreading through you, "Feel free to call me anytime you need sweetheart, if you need absolutely anything ill be right there for you, like i said i know your mom can get to be too much, so just know you have me here."

You nodded, "I'll keep that in mind, I'll see you around Dean."

You both went your separate ways, your eyes glancing to the rear view mirror as you drove away from deerfield park, you watched Dean's car stay stationary until you were out of sight, a low rumble coming up a bit ways behind you. You smiled at the sight of the sleek black car, watching as it pulled up quicker and to the opposite lane as you both came to a stop. Dean winked your way once more before turning left, and you veered off to the right, both of you going farther and farther away from one another, and for once since that night driving down this street to your mother's home just didn't feel right.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovlies!  
> So Here's chapter 2 of Remember Me, what are y'all's thoughts so far, are y'all digging it?  
> Chapter's should come everyday or at least every other day. What with finals for me this week the schedule for my posts should be every other day.  
> Goodluck to any of you who have finals! Happy Readings.
> 
> -StinaTypesss


	3. Can't Fight This Feeling

Pulling into your mother's driveway, you took in the house before you. The house that you had been coerced to move into since your accident. Something about this house just didn't feel right to you anymore, be it what you know that's now giving you these feelings, it just didn't sit right. You shut off the engine removing your keys from the ignition allowing yourself to fall back against the seat. You could almost sense the amount of trouble you would surely be in with your mother as soon as you opened that wooden door, were you ready to face it though? You took one last breath before reaching over to grab your things from the passenger seat. You pulled yourself from the car shutting the door behind you. You took the steps up to your mother's home one foot at a time jiggling the keys in your hand to find the one your mother had given you.

Just as you were about to slip your key into the lock the door was swung open, your seething mother glaring back at you. If looks could kill you'd be more than six feet under.

"Y/N where the hell have you been, you had me worried sick!" Your mother all but yelled.

You couldn't help but to roll your eyes at your mother as you brushed  past her into the house toeing off your shoes at the door.

"I'm here now aren't i mother, shouldn't that be enough that I'm okay? you spoke turning to face her. You watched your mother's mouth open before closing shortly. You watched as her eyes roamed over you body looking for a bruise, a cut, hell even a missing limb.

"Firstly young lady, dont you dare roll your eyes at me, im your mother, and secondly, where in the world have you been that you couldn't at least give me a call, i was about to send the cops after you!"

"Honestly mother I'm fine, please stop already." You said flaty, quickly turning on you heel to walk away from your mother.

"Y/N Y/L/N you stop right there and you tell me where you were!" You turned on your heel giving your mother a glare.

"I left to the park, i had to get away from you and your constant command to watch childhood videos, look at baby pictures, and showing me things YOU THINK i used to do, is that what you wanted to hear mom, that i had to get away from you!" you yelled back, you stood there fuming. You hated]

being cross with your mother, you really did, but when it was always her constantly breathing down your back, you just couldnt stop yourself.

You watched your mother's eyes fall to the ground her shoulders slumping. The guilt of seeing her like that eating at you. "God mom im sorry, i shouldnt have said that but i'm okay, im here mom, im home in one piece, im fine." You reached for your mothers hand coaxing her to look at you.

"I know sweetheart but god i was so worried, are you sure its even safe for you to be driving after what happened, what if something worse happened to you."

You couldnt help the sigh that left your lips, your hand dropping from your mother's "It's been two week's since they released me from the hospital, im going to be fine." You saw your mother wanting to argue more but you just couldn't not right now, you just werent in the mood.

"Sweetheart please, just try to understand that I'm worried for you, I'm just trying to help you remember."

At your mother's words Dean popped into your mind, you at that time wanted to ask her all the questions that you wanted to ask Dean but thought against due to the promise you had made with him. "Are you remembering anything?" she questioned.

You sighed closing your eyes tightly, "I don't know mom, somethings are a little more clearer than others, but i wouldn't say i remember everything."

"Would you like to look at some more pictures, maybe some videos?"

You definitely couldnt stop the eye roll this time around, your mother just didn't seem to get it, and honestly you had just about had enough of her for today. Without so much as giving her an answer, you walked away from her to your room.

You shut your room door behind you, leaning your back up against it to take a breath of air. The feeling of being trapped becoming to overwhelming, why couldn't you just get back to yourself, why did you hate to go through this?

You pushed off the door letting yourself fall back first onto your bed. You looked up to the ceiling, before reaching into your pocket to retrieve your phone. You unlocked your phone, scrolling through your contact list to pull up "AssButt <3" You couldnt help the smile that overcame your face.

**To AssButt: Hey Dean just texting you to let you know i made it home safely, would have texted you much sooner, but you know mothers..**

**From AssButt: Hey sweetheart that's alright, yeah mother's.**

**To Assbutt: Yeah, well hey I'm going to jump into the shower and see if i can catch up on some sleep, so ill text you later?**

**From AssButt: You should really do that Y/N no offense sweetheart but you looked pretty exhausted.**

**To Assbutt: Ha. ha. Well if you were having the nightmares i was I'm not sure you'd be getting much sleep yourself.**

**From Assbutt: Sorry, hey before you go to bed plug in your Ipod and look for a song called Can't Fight This Feeling by Reo Speedwagon.**

**To Assbutt: Will do Dean, ill talk to you later.**

**From Assbutt: Goodnight y/n, oh wait i mean goodmorning sweethear ;)**

You stifled a giggle at his text before locking your phone and reaching over to plug it into the charger on your nightstand. The name of that song sounded so familiar to you, and you knew something was behind it, but before you could allow yourself to get a headache over this you stood up from the bed. You grabbed some clothes from your drawers and a towel before heading to your bathroom.

you locked the door behind you setting your things down on your vanity. You pushed the shower curtain aside reaching to turn on the water. You let the water run behind you as you stripped yourself of your clothes. You let yourself glance in the mirror, your eyes dancing across the scars that littered your body. Some worse than the other's most already healing up. You reached a shaky hand up to you head pushing your bangs slighty to the side. A stitched angry red mark stared back at you, almost taunting you, this being the reason you were the way you were. You pulled your hand away taking your attention from the mirror, you let yourself step into the shower, the lukewarm water pulling you in. Your eyes's slipped shut.

_You closed your eyes slipping into the warm water, it cascaded down your back relaxing your body. Your jumped a bit, the feeling of strong arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you firmly into them. You let your eyes fall shut once more, your head falling back onto his shoulder. He placed kisses along your neck, trailing up to you jaw._

_"Please don't be mad at me sweetheart, you know i don't like when your upset with me. He spoke softly his hands tracing small circles on your hips._

_You let out a sigh, "I'm not mad at you Dean, this just means that we will have to postpone the date of our wedding, its not a big deal." you replied covering his hands with your's._

_"Sweetheart you have to know that i did everything in my will to get them to switch the dates around for me, but they just weren't budging and they needed this done by then for me to keep the shop."_

_You turned in dean's arm's your hands slipping to the back of Dean's neck, "Dean babe really it's fine, ive waited this long for the wedding, i think i can wait a big longer._

_You saw Dean let out a sigh, his head falling to your shoulder, "What if we didn't wait?" he said suddenly._

_"Dean what?"_

_He lifted up his head to meet your eyes, "Yeah what if we didnt wait, what if we got married before. shit sweetheart i dont care if we had it in bobby's yard, as long as I'm marrying you that's all that matters, you may be able to wait, but i can't."_

_"Dean Winchester YOUR  CRAZY." you laughed._

_"i'm your crazy sweetheart, so what do you say sweetheart, will you marry me, make me the happiest man ever."_

_You couldnt help but smile at Dean his loving eyes glancing back into your's_

_"you''ll always be the happiest man when your with me D." You whispered as you leaned up onto your toes your lips locking with his._

_With those words Dean had his answer and it was sealed with a kiss._

You let out a gasp pulling yourself away from the water the bottles soap falling at your feet at your sudden reaction. With shaky hands and tear's welling in your eyes you shut off the water leaning down to pick up the fallen soap. You pulled back the curtain roughly, reaching for your towel as a surge of pain crossed to the front of your head. You let out a groan as the pain intensified, you leaned forward grabbing the counter. This memory brought along the most pain, more than the other's that had flashed in your mind.

With shaky hands you pulled your clothes on wrapping your hair in a towel unlocking and yanking the bathroom door open. Your threw your dirty clothes into the hamper making your way over to the phone. Your hand came up to cradle your head once more as you unlocked your phone scrolling through your apps till you found the one you were looking for. You looked over this month to see anything highlighted, you skipped over to the next month finding the 31 highlighted. You clicked to see the note saved.

 _Winchester Wedding_ <3

Your heart skipped a beat May 31. You were supposed to marry Dean in two months.

You locked your phone again, finally letting the tears slip from your eyes. You were supposed to marry Dean in two months, two, and you couldnt even remember the man, much less say you loved him. God know's you wanted to be able too, but right now you just couldn't. That thought alone brought on more tear's.

 You wiped at your eyes, glancing over at your Ipod dock, you powered it on your Ipod glowing back at you. You scrolled through to find artist, clicking on the highlighted word as you scrolled through to the "R's"

You found what you were looking for, allowing yourself to fall back onto your pillows the music drifiting from you speaker's. You allowed your eyes to fall shut drinking the music in as it continued to play the lyrics singing to you. 

You hummed slightly to the tune allowing yourself to fall farther and farther into it, your body getting relaxed as the song continued on, a small smile gracing your lips. You had allowed yourself to get so lost in the song that at that moment you hadn't realized you remembered something. The memory that this song held.

_**My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you** _   
_**I've been running around in circles in my mind** _   
_**And it always seems that I'm following you, girl** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Lovelies Happy Tuesday!
> 
> So here's Chapter 3! Forgive me for taking so long to get it out but with finals all last week, and this week for me i've been busy. So what are y'alls thoughts on this chapter or the other chapters, you hating it, you loving it? Let me know! As a first time fanfiction writer this story is my first baby and i'd love to hear from you!  
> Happy tuesday, and Happy Readings!
> 
> -StinaTypesss


	4. Youthful Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Possible Trigger Warning*  
> *angsty feels*

A smile graced your lips, your body stretching itself through the bed as you began to wake, your eyes opening to adjust to the time around you. You laid in darkness the clock on your dresser reading 8:30 p.m. in bright bold red letters. You rubbed at your eyes realizing that for the first time since you had been released from the hospital you had slept for more than 2 hours. Finally a sleep that had not been tormented by the nightmares that liked to plague your mind and come out to play as soon as your eyes drifted shut. A night where you didn't wake up in a sheen layer of sweat adorning your body, or in a fit of tears over the images playing on repeat in your sleep.

You let yourself sit up in a bed the light coming from the crack in your door catching your attention, mother must have come to check on you while you were sleeping. Untangling yourself from the sheets you got up to shut the door fully, switching on the light in your room. You grimaced at the black and blue painted walls, the poster's that your teenage self had taped all over the wall catching your eyes, honestly what was teenage you thinking half the time? You glanced around the room your eyes catching on the desk that sat neatly placed in the corner facing the window. You walked over to the polished desk glancing over the papers and frames that sat atop it. Nothing on here seemed to trigger anything within your mind, you huffed pulling out the chair at the desk, letting yourself flop into it. You glanced around the beige, slightly stained carpet, your eyes falling to behind the stand that held your T.V. What looked like a white piece of paper hiding behind the stand got your attention, the marker words intriguing you.

You let your feet push you over to the stand, leaning your body forward in your seat as you grabbed at the white sheet behind the stand. It was a picture, you looked over the words.

_What love look's like._

You turned the picture over a smile gracing your features as you took in the photo, your finger skidding over the glossy image. You couldn't remember when or where this photo was taken, but a small giggle left your lips as your eyes continued to look it over. It was a picture of you and Dean sitting on the floor mounds of blankets and pillows surrounded you. Your lips were wrapped around a fork a smile gracing your feature your eyes squinted tightly. Dean had a scowl on his face, but his eyes held laughter, you noticed the plate that held a piece of pie above his head far from you. You continued to glance at the picture waiting for something, anything to pop out at you to tell you that this man in this picture, this man that you met, this man that you lived with that you loved him just as this picture was claiming.

Judging by the memories that you had been having recently of Dean and yourself, and looking back at the picture this had to have been sometime after you and Dean had shared your first kiss at the water park. You turned the picture glancing over the words once again, the way it was written certainly didn't look familiar to you. The words taunting you, god you wished you could feel this again, you wish you could say that yes in fact this is what love looked like, but the fact is you just couldn't.

You frowned at the picture placing it down on the desk, you lifted from the chair walking back over to your bed. You sat yourself on you bed crossing your legs as you clasped your hands together a feeling of sorrow washing over you. Apparently you had a love that other's would have envisioned themselves having as well, a love that you couldn't remember. From what you had gathered of the random snippet memories you and tony had been life long friends, had some how fallen in love between this time, and even promised one another forever two months from now. We were a fairy tale romance in the goddamn making, and you couldn't bring yourself to remember any of it! Your mind drifted back to Dean, you heart ached at the thought of wanting to remember him, remember what the two you once did.

You let yourself fall back onto the bed your sheets meeting your back softly. Your eyes glanced around your ceiling willing any memory to come forward and present itself, you let out a breathe loudly when it didn't. You flipped onto your stomach, leaning your head on your hands as you glanced around the room, your eyes stopped just before the closet a dent in the wall catching your attention. You tilted your head slightly looking at the dent, wondering what caused that dent you looked down seeing red drops staining your beige carpet. You glanced up at the dent, searching it more, what in the world caused that dent in your wall? At the thought a surge of pain ran through you head, spots of white in your eyes appeared, your eyes shutting tightly as you gripped your head.

_You took another swig of the bottle of red wine your mother thought she had successfully hidden away from you. You swallowed down the bitter liquid sniffing loudly as you wiped the tears away with your other hand not holding the bottle. You scowled at yourself, pushing at the sheets, throwing the pillows away from you, you hated how you were right now this wasnt you._

_You didn't want to feel like this anymore, didn't want to have to live like this._

_You let yourself sink into your pillows, the cushiony softness cradling your head. You let your hand fall to the side your hand hitting the bottle of jack that you had downed not to long before you started on the bottle that was still held tightly in your other. This was the only way you felt you could cope with the sadness that seeped into you at times, the only thing that you thought you could turn to, when you felt you had nothing else._

_Like father like daughter i guess._

_You took one more drink before dropping the now empty bottle of wine off to the side and reaching for your phone on your night stand. You unlocked your phone the bright light blinding you slightly as you scrolled through your contacts looking for the one you knew by heart. You brought your device up to you ear as the other end of it rang._

_"H-hello" he answered sleepily. You took in a breath remembering just how late it was. You cursed yourself slightly slightly regretting your decision._

_"D" you questioned, although you knew it was him, you could tell from the breath of air on the other line that he was very much there._

_"y/n, sweetheart are you okay, what's going on?" he questioned. You could almost picture him getting up in his bed, the sheets falling into his lap as he leaned forward._

_"Dean, I can't do this anymore, im not good for you, nothing good ever happens to me, something bad always has to ruin my happiness." you sobbed._

_"Sweetheart what's going on, why are you talking like this, where are you?" he demanded._

_You shook your head more tears falling, "I can't do this anymore Dean, you are such an amazing guy and you deserve nothing but the best and i can't give that to you."_

_"Y/n you dont know what your saying sweethea-"_

_"Please D stop I can't, just please leave me alone."_

_"Y/N your drunk you don't mean that, come on sweetheart please tell me what's going on your worrying me here.. Y/N!" you flinched at Dean's words, not once had he ever raised his voice at you._

_"Goodbye Dean." You heard Dean screaming for you as you pulled your phone away from your ear ending the call._

_You let your phone fall to the side, immediately your phone began to vibrate Dean's name showing up on your screen. More tears fell the vibrations of the phone call sounding loud in you ears, you leaned up gripping your phone in hand tightly. you let out a scream as you tossed you phone at the wall, the bottle of jack following shortly after. You watched as both your phone and bottle crashed into the wall two loud bangs sounding through you room. You gripped you hair into your hands, as you shook, you needed to get away, you needed to wake up from this nightmare that was your life._

_You needed to wake up, You need to wake up, You need to wake up!!_

A broken cry left your lips as you scrambled up the bed, your knees coming to your chest as you held yourself together tightly. You took deep breaths in and out willing the feeling of the tear to pass. You couldn't allow yourself to break now, not when your mother was in the house she would surely never let you breath if she saw in how much distress you were currently in!

You jumped slightly as your phone chimed off on the night stand. With shaky hands you reached over, looking at your notifications you saw Dean had sent you a messaged. You unlocked your phone clicking the message

**From Assbutt <3 : Hey sweetheart so in about 10 minutes head to the living room turn on your dvr and go to recordings watch the movie that's there trust me you never miss watching it.**

**To Assbutt <3 : what movie?**

**From Assbutt <3 : Trust me sweetheart its going to be the only movie there you should remember it **

**To Assbutt <3 : Won't promise anything but ill give it a try.**

You unfolded yourself getting up from the bed stopping by the mirror to make sure you didn't look to disheveled. If you mother was walking about and she saw you she surely would stop you so it's best to be safe then sorry. You opened your door quietly turning off the light to your room and shutting the door behind you. You walked through your house heading in the direction of the living room stopping only when you heard your mother call out for you.

"Y/n sweetie is that you?"

You walked over to your mom's office leaning up against the door.

"Oh good your up i left some dinner on the stove for you if your hungry honey." she said smiling at you before averting her eyes back to her laptop.

You let out a quick "thank you mom" fall from your lips before redirecting yourself to the kitchen to grab dinner first and then watch the movie Dean had told you about. You plopped the food your mom had left for you into the microwave grabbing a utensil and a drink before pulling the food from the mic and heading into the living room. You plopped yourself onto the couch switching on your TV and DVR. You followed Dean's directions clicking the only movie that had been recorded there.

You adjusted yourself more onto the couch watching as the opening titles came on a wide smile gracing your features as the music and title began to play.

_Star Wars: Episode VI  A New Hope_

You honestly couldnt help the grin that graced your features as the movie played on. This was probably one of your favorite Star Wars Episodes Princess Leia, Han solo, Luke and god Darth Vader. Although this movie had its cheesy moments, you couldn't believe you could actually remember some of the scene's well enough to quote your favorite parts. When you leaned forward to place your plate on the coffee table a wave of dizziness rushed at you.

_"Deanna get your sweetass in here before i go drag you in here myself!"_

_You watch as Dean grumbled as he plopped himself on the couch next to you clearly not looking the least bit interested in the movie before him. "You do realize that this is your favorite show right not mine?"_

_"You bite that tongue of your's mister or I'm sending you home this instant." You threatened  sticking your tongue out at him._

_"If you want i can bite your's." he replied back flashing you that dazzling smile accompanied with a wink._

_"Oh god Dean No! Not when my favorite movie is about to start, maybe later." You teased throwing him a wink. You squealed in delight as the opening credits began, you couldnt help but to sing along to the opening credit scene music. Dean watched you from the corner of his eye amusement hidden in his features._

_The movie played on the both of you sitting in silence you watched Dean look on at the tv a mix of bored and confusion etched on his gorgeous features. You could clearly see he was trying to get into the movie before him but wasn't exactly sure what to think of it at the same time. You lifted yourself up a little before swinging a thigh over Dean's legs sitting yourself on him. His hands gripped your hips, as he held you close._

_"What do you think your doing sweetheart, movie isnt even over." he chuckled._

_"How many times have i seen it though?" you winked  your lips brushing over his neck as you spoke._

_Dean gripped your hips tighter catching you by surprise as he flipped you over. His hands slid up your shirt his lips ghosting over your's_

_"You drive me crazy.."_

"Sweetheart?"

You jumped slightly looking over your shoulder to see your mother behind you with a questioning glance

"What in the world are you watching?" she questioned not allowing you to answer her first question. You couldnt help but to smile at her, "My favorite movie mom."

You saw a grimace grace her features as she reached for the remote shutting it off immediately.

"Hey i was watching that mom, its one of my favorite movies did you not hear?" you said scowling at her.

Your mother rolled your eyes at your behavior, "Yes sweetheart i heard you but i mean come on! who would even watch that its all childish things, now come on lets go look at some pictures." she spoke clapping her hands together at the thought.

"So you would rather continue to show me the same damn pictures over and over again to jog a memory rather than let me just try and remember things slowly on my own."

"Sweetheart that movie is absolutely going to do nothing to help jog your memory or is it?" she spoke in a mocking tone.

You felt your cheeks heat up at the previous memory that had played through your mind before your mother had decided to walk in.

"Well it's helping me more than the repeat of pictures and videos mother, why can't that be enough!" You said your voice raising a bit.

"I'm just trying to help you sweetheart." Your mother muttered clearly not pleased with her not getting her way.

"Well mother your not doing the best job, if you were even remotely trying why haven't you showed me pictures with Dean hmm? Why haven't you brought him up in anyway, are you scared that as soon as i remember everything that ill run back to him, back to where i really belong?!" You shouted.

Your mother looked at you in shock her mouth dropping open slightly, " You you remember Dean?"

"Yeah mother, and its no thanks to you!"

"Listen to me y/n Dean is no good for you, i almost lost you because of him, and i refuse to let that happen again!" she shouted back

"That is such bullshit mother and you know it, what happened that night wasn't his fault mom, that was on me, that was all me!" 

"You you remember?" she questioned

You let out a sigh, your shoulder's falling slightly, "I'm starting too." you turned away from your mother no longer being able to be in the same room with her

"Y/N WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING?!" your mother shouted after you.

"Out!" That was the only answer you could bring yourself to give her as you walked along the curb. You pulled your phone from your pocket, bringing you phone up to your ear once you had selected the contact.

"Y/n?"

"Hey Dean do you think you can meet me?" you questioned.

You heard rustling on the other end, "Sure sweetheart same place as always?" he asked.

You couldnt help the smile that graced your features, god you had been doing that alot, "Yeah Dean the park."

"Alright sweetheart ill see you soon." he replied a jingling of keys could be heard followed by the slam of a door and the rumble of a car,

"See you soon D." you spoke quietly.

You pulled your phone from your ear ending the call and locking your phone back as you slipped it back into your pocket picking up your walking speed a bit at the thought of seeing Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovlies here is chapter 4!
> 
> Finals are finally all finished but life is still super busy but alas the story must go on! I hope you all enjoy this chapter, let me know what you all think!  
> Happy Tuesday & Happy Readings!  
> -StinaTypesss

**Author's Note:**

> Any italicized parts are part of a flashback in case you all were wondering, again let me know your thoughts!  
> This is my first time doing something like this and id like any feedback yall might be able to give Happy readings!


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